Diazepam? No Thanks.
No sleep in a while. I spent yesterday morning and afternoon watching TV upstairs and not being able to sleep. It is always a great honor to be the host for insomnia. Working at my job, it is nigh impossible for a normal person not to fall asleep after it has all been said and done. Upon punching myself in yesterday afternoon, my eyes began to shut. My body decided that it was time for over seventy two hours of being awake, catch up with me. After the longest and most strenuous five minutes ever. I finally buy caffeine pills. I toss one down the hatch and chase it with a can of coke. Forty five minutes later I toss another one in. By 12:30 am I had used seven pills. I chased all but the first one down with black coffee, yet magically I was still sleepy. Two hours later, nine hours after my first pill, and another two pills and they all kicked in. I felt like I had just finished a hundred meter dash. Tired yet energized. My poor little heart was being tasked. I began to write at speeds that would make a piece of paper have nightmares about friction and fire. That was not enough though. I gained a headache, which felt like a video game controller rumbling in my head at the standard machine gun speeds. I soon figured out that I was yelling very often. Everything was doing a good job of agitating me. I knew at once I needed something to help me kill off or burn out all the damn caffeine. I took a beak and told Tim to give me thirty minutes. I headed out to the parking lot and ran suicides. Then I ran down to the gas station about half a mile away and bought myself some cigarettes. I smoked six of them back to back in hopes that the nicotine would calm me down some. Smart move on my part since I forgot nicotine is a stimulant. Talk about one hell of an unhealthy night. The irony? I refuse to take anything to fall asleep, but I'm taking shit to stay awake. Talk about hypocritical. I'll stick with my three cups of coffee a night thank you. I had cut down smoking to about three a day as well, even then only after meals. The headaches, gone, and my heart seems to have normalized itself. My brain is still running sixteen thousand angsty thoughts at once though. Lets see if I can fall asleep now.
